The Spirit of the Stairwell

“They’ve taken her, you see. They’ve taken my fiancée.”

This is it. The final episode of Season 3. The intricate, gossamer threads of our artful narrative finally weave together to reveal the epic truth. Join the Ood Cast as they plunge headlong through time & space in a thrilling, last gasp dash to save one of their own.

Witness samurai sword wielding Time Lords, robotic Canadians, ruddy-cheeked podcast proteges and dastardly revenge-stricken megalomaniacs in camper vans. Thrill to the sounds of weirdly accurate baby noises, lactating Sontarans & playdough manipulating Daleks. All this, a review of A Good Man Goes To War and a song about Headless Monks sung simultaneously by fourteen different podcasters scattered across the globe.

Featuring the vocal talents of Radio Free Skaro, The Two Minute Time Lord, Radio Rassilon, The Doctor Who Podcast, Bridging The Rift, Tim’s Take On, Adventures in Time, Space & Music, The Minute Doctor Who Podcast, The Crossover Adventures, The Doctor Who Book Club, The DWO Whocast & The Flashing Blade, this is one barn-storming audio joy blitz.

Guest starring Clayton Hickman & Gareth Roberts with amazing cover art by Louis B Tosche of the Mostly Harmless Cutaway Podcast.

In the language of the Forest, we’d be called The Ood Cat (they don’t have a word for podcast).

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 48:32 — 44.6MB)

“Steven Moffat? He’s a squat, wiry haired, plump, plum-eared genius …”

Theatrical nudity, sycophantic grovelling and an Ice Warrior with a grudge.

The Ood Cast is back with more unflattering descriptions of the leading lights of our televisual lives. Find out what happened when Sigma met the Moff, listen to the Ood’s first script collaboration, get an update on the operating status of the Littlest Doctor and *spoiler alert* find out key locations for the Christmas Special…

Also, win a drink on us, and listen in horror as we jump the (space) shark.

Ah, it’s good to be back!

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 41:42 — 38.3MB)

“The only thing missing for me was three of them in a bath rolling down the hillside.”

On this week’s Ood Cast, we face the consequences of leaving too much psychic pollen lying around our perfectly appointed studio and that’s as well as dropping in on the Doctor “acquiring” said narcotic substance, hearing what happened to the frozen Peruvian folk band, discussing what we made of The Shaun of the Summer Wine (sorry, Amy’s Choice) and, last but not least, a visit from a legendary 70s rock group …

So, make your choice …

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 31:51 — 29.5MB)

“Funny how you can say something in your head, and it sounds … fine.”

We sharpen up our canines in this week’s Ood Cast – and that’s got nothing to do with dogs and pencil sharpeners…

Join us to revel in Venetian wonder as we find out what the aftermath of the freak weather was for gondoliers, and how this event affected the course of opera… We drop in on another parents’ evening and hear what happened when a popular fishing programme took the show over to the waterways of Italy.

And that’s as well as the usual mix of Ood Cast news, songs and aural dance…

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 37:45 — 34.9MB)

“Would you like some cake? Dalek cake?”

Yep, the Daleks are the scariest of all the enemies the Doctor has ever faced. And they now serve Earl Grey …

This week on the Ood Cast, the boys are left alone to discuss Victory of the Daleks, we get a Speech Therapist to analyse the speech patterns of the tin-plated despots in an attempt to see whether their problems are just psychological, and we’re treated to a glimpse of what happened when some of them agreed to attend a group therapy session…

So sit back, relax and get your nearest mutated Kaled to serve you a brew. Oh, and would you like a biscuit with that? As reliable as they may be at improbably balancing tea trays on sink plungers, they always forget the digestives…

Stupid Daleks.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 34:51 — 32.2MB)

“Wide-spread contagion amongst cast and crew, means that Silurians are being made to wear verruca socks whilst on set.”

How excited are we? I mean, just how EXCITED are we?!

With just a handful of days until the new series starts, we’ll tell you exactly how excited we are in this week’s Ood Cast. But that’s not all we have to say.

We’ll talk about news things – in our own way; knitted, sewn and generally marvellously created things, and we’ll hear how the Doctor gets on when he has to stop on a distant planet for a… comfort break. We’ll also have a bit of feedback from our incredibly intelligent, discerning listeners, and a special musical treat in store too.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 39:32 — 36.4MB)

A hearty, and slightly world-weary welcome to you.

Think back to Christmas Day 2008. The evening.

There you are – on the sofa – feeling a bit bloated because your nan insisted that you had that third helping of turkey and at least two goes at the Christmas pud.  You’re becoming steadily more pickled as the afternoon draws on, and your eyes are feeling a bit heavy.

Then something lovely hits your screen.  You hear some familiar music.  You haven’t been paying attention to the first couple of minutes because you saw that a few weeks before on Children In Need night.  But now you’re a bit more interested.

You start searching your mind for what it is like a brain surgeon wearing boxing gloves…

And then you see him.  A skinny man with an unmistakable pin-stripe suit, spiky hair and glasses.  You know what this is…

You yawn.  Then your eyes start to flutter as you desperately try not to fall asleep.  But you can’t combat such a force…  Just before you do, you see a blurry thing that looks a little like a creature made from a milk bottle top and strips of crepe paper (a la early 1980s Blue Peter).

And the rest is darkness.

Wonder what you missed?  Well, let us discuss it in your ear.  For in this installment of the podcast, The Ood Cast Episode Two, we will be discussing The Next Doctor… because it started off the year of specials.

So come and join us.

Please.

We miss you when you don’t let us talk at you.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 28:49 — 26.5MB)

Chris Fosten writes:

It’s here. The Ood Cast: Episood 1. (That’s right, we’re busting out puns right from the get go – that’s just how we roll.)

The most important thing we want everyone to know before we start (and we say it on the podcast too) is that we love the show. Utterly. Even when we are disappointed by what we see, we love it.

Even, it seems, when we have quite large, uber-geeky reasons for never wanting to see that hour of TV again, we still do. And we still go and buy the DVDs.

Because, to us, Doctor Who isn’t something we can take or leave. It’s almost the thing that has been with us since we were wee bairns in the highlands. Or small children from the south of England (delete according to the way you wish to think of us).

In the words of countless Mitchell characters in Eastenders (so I’m told), “It’s family”. And it is.

Chris has said on this very blog that the Doctor has had a massive effect on the way he chose to do things (I’m still a little unsure about the blazer and the celery in the lapel, although I’m sure we’ll all get used to it), but for the three of us who make up the male contingent of the podcast, it’s something that rings a – cloister – bell. (Ha! See what I did there?! Oh, never mind)

Laura brings a fresh and sharp view to proceedings to prove that we are just old school idiots sometimes. And that sometimes we do have a point. But not all the time.

We would readily admit that we are sometimes critical. But it’s simply, and only, because we love the show and like to sit around daydreaming about what we’d like to see happen next, or how something should be done.

That could be just me.

And sometimes, life really doesn’t come to any harm if you ask a few questions about things.

Join us for our little journeys through (limited) Time and (cramped) Space. We’d all love you to.

This song is ending, but the story never ends … I’m kidding, that was a terrible line.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 37:29 — 34.4MB)

David Tennant has left Dr Who. He was a brilliant Doctor and this piece he wrote for the 2009 Specials Box Set has warmed me to him even more.

In a suburban house in Paisley a wee boy was sticky-taping the leg of his oft-snapped spectacles back together. He couldn’t remember a time when they hadn’t been augmented with at least one area of peeling sellotape. Suddenly and quite without warning there was a rupture in the fabric of space and time and a tall, skinny man tumbled through a wormhole in the middle of the living room and landed in a puddle of brown coat at the boy’s feet.

“Who are you?” asked the boy. Confused and a little scared, but mostly loving it.

“Oh- ah, hello. It’s you! I’m you…You’re ..me”

“Eh? the boy asked. (Try as she might the boy’s mother could not get him to say “Pardon”)

“I’m you. In the future. I’m thirty-eight years old”

Because he was eight the boy accepted this quite quickly. “Is that my coat then? Can I try it on?”

“No, no, no -” Interrupted the skinny man slightly disappointed his time travelling was being greeted with so little wonderment. “This is my costume. These clothes are The Doctor’s. In thirty years time you get to play The Doctor. What do you think of that?!”

“Tom Baker leaves!” the boy boggled.

“Well.. Yes, eventually..”

“And then I take over?”

“Not quite, no, there’s a bit of time in between but..”

“And that’s what The Doctor wears?”

“Yes. Yes it is”

The boy took a moment to give his full attention. “I prefer the scarf”

The skinny man looked a little crushed. “But this is really cool. People write about this outfit in newspapers and style magazines. This is geek chic!.. But actually you’re right; people never really get over the scarf.”

“Are the monsters good?” The boy asked.

“Oh there are some great ones. And you get to fight the Daleks, and the Cyberman -”

“- and the Zygons?!!”

“Erm, no, no not the Zygons. But loads of other ones that you’ll love. And guess what.. Sarah comes back! and K-9!”

“K-9 leaves too!! ” the boy groaned.

“Well, yes but he comes back – with you. And there are loads of great companions. Some of them aren’t even born yet – but they’re just brilliant! And you won’t belive this, but you know Bernard Cribbins from ‘The Wombles?”

“- and ‘Jackanory’ -”

“- and ‘Jackanory’, yes. Well he’s in it too. You get to do all sorts of scenes with him.”

“That’s amazing!”

“It is.”

“Why do I have to wait so long?” asked the boy.

“Eh? I mean, pardon?”

“You’re really old.”

“I don’t think — well – not so – it’s all relative.” The skinny man protested.

“And how come your hair’s all dark?” the wee boy asked.

“That just happens..round about twelve I think.”

The skinny man regarded his younger self. “Look there’s quite a bit of stuff to get through first but hang in there. It’s worth it. I promise. I can’t tell you how much you’ll love it.”

“Really? Do I really get to be The Doctor?”

“You do. And listen – you are going to have: the best time of your life”

And with that the skinny man disappeared in a swirl of pulsing temporal vortex. The wee boy held his damaged glasses in front of his face as the wormhole blinked out of existence. That was unexpected, he thought. And pretty unlikely. Then he turned his attention back to the sellotape and the glasses. “The Creature from the Pit” Part Two was on later. He needed to be ready.

- David John McDonald, 3rd November 1979/2009

Bless him!

But onwards and upwards to the new series, which looks awesome.

(also watch out for the first episode of The Oodcast in the next few days)