Please take the time to watch it, it’s more than entertaining enough to fill three minutes of your life and it offers a concrete and very real way you can take a small action that could change the world.

You probably need to work where I work to get the most out of it but nevertheless – my gift to you. Good luck, Nigel.

For ourselves we mourn the death of Hereward Cooke, one of our number who died standing up for what he believed in. He passed away peacefully in his sleep after a full day’s lobbying and campaigning, his journey completed.

He was a great man. He wore hiking boots to cycle in. He was an inspiration.

But we must also mourn for us all as the Copenhagen talks produced nothing that even approached a solution to the global threat posed by climate change. It’s because of people like Hereward that we have to keep on fighting.

For now I present a transcript of my Twitter activity during the four days preceeding our arrival in Copenhagen. It’s very silly and idiosyncratic but I hope it gives a flavour of the adventure we all shared together.

It’s not something I’ll ever forget.

The Tweets

Day One: Wednesday 9th December 2009

Day Two: Thursday 10th December 2009

Day Three: Friday 11th December 2009

Day Four: Saturday 12th December 2009

Addendum

You can also check out the video of our journey that appeared on the Guardian website (including Jim introing the RDM) – Guardian Video

and finally …

“RT @juliandobson “The shame and failure of Copenhagen is not the end of the story. If our leaders can’t lead, the rest of us must.” #COP15″

My legs are actually in pretty good nick at the moment. All this cycling is probably doing them some good. Well, it’s either the cycling or the sitting on the sofa watching Mad Men. I mean, I’m no doctor or anything.

It’s crazy actually, I looked down at them when I got out the shower the other day and I didn’t recognise them. I thought I was looking at some Rugby player’s legs who had snuck in while I was lathering up and installed a complicated system of mirrors in my bathroom with the sole intention of creating an optical illusion whereby he substituted an image of his legs for mine when I looked down. An insanely complex plan with little in the way of pay off, but some people do have too much time on their hands.

Anyway, the point is my legs have changed. They’re all bulgy in odd places and don’t seem to get tired as easily. Also they’re covered in bruises and cuts like I’m some sort of action hero or ninja. Do you want to see a picture? Alright, you twisted my arm.

My legs!

See? I don’t know if you know what they used to look like but it was more along the lines of two pieces of spaghetti dangling in mid air like a couple of stringy, beige losers. I like these new ones, I think Walt Disney will be very happy with them.

The ride to Denmark is approaching with terrifying rapidity and so I’ve made two strategic moves. I’ve bought thermal underwear and I’ve got the bike serviced. Now all I need is a gel-filled saddle cover and I might yet come out of this still able to have children.

The bike servicing was particularly eventful in that the repair shop basically chucked out every component of my bike and fitted new ones. New chain, cassette, brakes, pads, cables, lights – I am reminded of the age old problem of David Hume and the broom (or as I like to think of it now – the Sugababe Factor). Can we even think of it as the same item when so much of it’s original parts have been replaced?

Not to get existential or anything. It just cost nearly £200 which is a lot of money when you’re not expecting it. The bike is very shiny now though and goes like the clappers.

Although that could be down to the legs, which I didn’t pay anything for.

I’m going to watch Mad Men now.

The town seems unnaturally clean, the streets are straight and uniform, stretching out at right angles in all directions. Large friendly signs hang above each road clearly stating what you can find along them ‘schools & library’ or ‘park & duck pond’. Everything in neat little rows – from the terraced Value Estates to the mansions and castles in *Finest Heights. The citizens move slowly down these pathways as if sleep walking, wearing their identical blue and white-striped blazers and name badges. The cars are activated by putting in a pound coin but tend to swerve all over the road. Suddenly a deafening public address system crackles to life: Bing-bong. Citizens should note that there is a 2-for-1 offer on school entry at the Value Comprehensive. Thank you. Bing-bong.

Welcome to Tesco Town.

It may seem like the kind of satirical dystopian future that would spring from the fevered imaginings of Chris Morris or Armando Iannucci but worryingly Tesco Town is a very real possibility. Reports came in yesterday of Tesco’s intention to build a ‘supermarket suburb’ next to the Olympic site in Tower Hamlets. The area is already groaning under the weight of 10 new Tesco stores built in the last two years but it seems the supermarket giant wants to go for a total scorched earth policy, an 11-acre site with a 24-hour Tesco Extra hypermarket at its centre. Tesco are also planning housing, hotels, parks, schools and a library called, in true Orwellian fashion, the Idea Store. Creepy.

Most of us have come to terms with the fact that we now live in a world where 6% of the population own 59% of the wealth. We know large multinationals are richer than most emerging economies but it does seem to be taking the piss a bit for them to actually start building capital cities. How long will it be until we get Tesco Cathedrals with ‘Every Little Helps …’ carved over the vaulted entrance in Latin? Or the Tesco Political Party promising to save the economy with the same ruthless single-mindedness it uses to crush local stores and family businesses?

Tesco’s chief executive Terry Leahy has already thrown his hat into the political arena, describing Britain’s school system as “woeful”. Thanks for that Terry but I’m not quite sure how a career peddling low-quality foodstuff to the hungry masses gives you a mandate to comment on education reform. It’s probably best you go back to putting Whoops! stickers on the chicken that smells a bit dodgy. You’re good at that.

The Tesco Occupied Territories of east London. We’re through the looking glass here, people, the war of attrition with major corporations is just beginning. And to the future residents of Tesco Town let me just say this – squeeze the produce before you buy. It might be rotten and leave a bad taste in your mouth.

That was a long time ago. We didn’t even have the internet then. We had to go around with a clipboard and collect sponsorship manually. That’s really hard when you can’t speak. I guess I should have planned in advance.

Anyway, I’m now going to cycle to Copengahen for the December climate change talks. Talks that could very well impact on the continued existence of humanity so, you know, I thought I’d check them out. We’re cycling 140 miles in three days in weather conditions that could charitably be described as ‘unpleasant’. Quite a challenge when, to quote Friends, you have a body shape ‘like a potato with arm and legs … and a head’.

My target is to raise £2000 for Christian Aid. Quite a large sum of money, especially in these lean times, but believe me when I say that anything you could spare would be a great help, particularly if you GiftAid it.

Why Christian Aid? Easy, it’s the best development agency out there, fighting poverty in partnership with local agencies in 50 countries worldwide. Christian Aid works with people of all faiths and none, its mission is nothing less than the total eradication of extreme poverty from the face of the Earth by identifying and dismantling the mechanisms that keep people poor. I believe its work is invaluable.

I also work for them.

Which is nice.

Anyway, I hope some of my readers will choose to sponsor me. For my part, I’ll attempt to be witty and entertaining as I recount the two month training period and the ride itself on this blog. If that doesn’t do it for you, I’ll post pictures of me looking red faced and sweaty like a lumpy radish in lycra.

My sponsorship page is at www.justgiving.com/spiritofthestairwell.

Turkish Superman

Indian Superman (& Spiderwoman?)

Turkish Star Wars

Chinese Indian Jones

Here is a list of other films we’d like to see:

Bangladeshi Inner Space
Libyan Short Circuit
Ghanian *Batteries Not Included
Mexican Three Men & a Baby
Madagascan Tron