The Spirit of the Stairwell

I did it. Over 51k words in a month. A full novel manuscript in my sweaty hands. Look.

I’m so proud of this. And okay, the blog writing did fall by the way side and yes, much of the novel is absolute rubbish but I finished it. I can actually call myself a writer and not feel like a fraud or a pretender. For so many years I’ve talked about the books I’m going to write instead of shutting my mouth, sitting down and actually writing them.

I’ve turned a corner today. Milestones like this. They’re important. They’re the things you remember changed everything.

“I think the first draft is always a drudge, and I wish there were elves [who could] lay down the canvas and stuff like that. Well, they can’t. You have to do it, and you have to bleed.” Paul Abbott (Shameless, State of Play etc.)

If you haven’t seen this yet, it’s amazing. Have a go and then leave a comment to let me know if you passed.

An Open Letter to the Terminator Owners. From a Very Important Hollywood Mogul

Dear Sirs/Ma’ams,

Okay. There’s more — this brain don’t quit! (though it has occasionally been fired) — but I think you get my drift. I really believe the Terminator franchise has only begun to plumb the depths of questioning the human condition during awesome stunts, and I’d like to shepherd it through the next phase. The money is there, but more importantly, the heart is there. But more importantly, money. Think about it. End this bloody bidding war before it begins, and put the Terminator in the hands of someone who watched the first one more than any other movie in college, including “Song of Norway” (no current franchise offer).

Sincerely, Joss Whedon.

Now I know Joss has his tongue lodged firmly in his cheek here but seriously, how cool would this be? We’ve had to come to terms with the fact that we’ll never see an Eliza Dushku starring Wonder Woman written by the great man but that doesn’t mean that all is lost.

There are a load of great franchises out there ready to be re-energised by a writer of passion, vision and humour, as opposed to being trodden into the mud by faceless hacks and idiot holes. If he wants to do it I say let him.

And commission a third series of Dollhouse.

And a sequel to Serenity.

I can dream.

Nanowrimo continues, with my current word count up to a healthy 5,111 words. I’m still a good 1,500 behind schedule but nevertheless that’s pretty impressive for me, I’d have given up long ago under normal circumstances.

My novel now has a working title: Invading Personal Spaces and also a synopsis. Here it is:

Jem has a crap job in advertising. Mel is a model when she’s not being a prostitute. Or telekenetic. Seb is a sociopath and Greg writes a lot of fanfic. Roisin doesn’t understand why being good at her job doesn’t equal job security.

Her job is to conquer Earth and subjugate humanity utterly.

A book about life and love in the late Noughties where some of the characters just happen to be an elite group of invading alien warriors.

I also got bored last night and designed a cover for it.

Walmart owned cheapo supermarket Asda is rubbish. Watch this film to find out why.

It’s that time of the year again where people from around the world all try to write a 50,000 word novel in a month. National Novel Writing Month, or NaNoWriMo to its friends, is a pretty insane undertaking where thousands of people all turn author simultaneously and, using the ‘Kill or Cure’ method of novel writing, throw themselves off the stony cliffs of procrastination to plunge unprotected into the boiling flotsam of literary endeavour.

And if you thought that sentence was hard work – wait ’til you see my novel.

Yes, I’m participating this year for the first time along with the Urban Cowboy, Shoelace and Red. I can’t speak for the others but my intention is to finally kick start a writing career littered with first chapters, opening acts and dead blogs. I dig the concept of writing at a break neck pace where necessity dictates research, editing and planning take a back seat to instinct and invention.

Historically, I’ve never finished writing a  book because I’m constantly rewriting its first chapter, so this is like shock therapy for me. I’ll produce something even if it’s awful.

Even if it kills me.

You can play along at home by following the wordcount on this blog and by tuning into the posts I’m intending to write every day. Because on top of the 50,000 words I’m going to start doing this blog in earnest – even if it’s a paragraph long, even if it’s just a bit of the novel I’m particularly proud of.

And I’m still training to go to Copenhagen.

And learning the Ukulele.

And starting to Improvise in front of a paying audience.

It feels like a good time for a revolution.